I did a self love photoshoot! When the photographer becomes the muse ;)

Apr 6

I don’t even know where to really start.

Maybe the fact that, a self love shoot, is probably the most fun, most epic experience that is yet to be done?! Or that even though I was 10kilos heavier than ever before … that I still did it? Or the fact that, I was so totally in my element, that I was just in high vibes, and felt so damn confident??? I am telling you my lovers… ALL.THE.THINGS.ALL.THE.FEELINGS.

Anyhoo, a self love shoot. What does that really mean - what does that entail really..? Like really.

To me, I think it means, being whoever the fuck you want to be, however that fucking looks, sounds and feels like.

I love being me. I love being a woman. I love being loud, wild, flirty, creative, sexy, but I also love being nerdy, , being quiet, and hyper focused on my work, All those aspects of me, is what makes me.. me.

I used to be called “too much” all.the.fucking.time. It drove me crazy, and sometimes… it still does. Coz we are all human, and we still have little insecurities.

The main thing is, to accept these things about us. And that’s what my journey has been ever since I became a mother, wife, and now business owner.

I am too much. I am too loud, when maybe I should be quiet, I am too opinionated when maybe I should be more open, I am too rigid when maybe I should be more flexible, and sometimes I am too energetic when sometimes I should be more calmer.. but sometimes I also think… fuck that noise. And then I go around like a hurricane and be my most true self.

There is this amazing, and totally life changing quote that I have come across lately, which I am getting for the studio ( in the bathroom maybe? - tell me what you think), I read it a lot and even written it out in my journal. Yes, I am that fucking obsessed with it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

How totally amazing is that quote? Like really?!

I had to do this shoot, I needed new photos that weren’t all self portraits, and some new ones for my website and socials. It really kickstarted me, when I did a poll on my stories on what was the biggest thing that held all the women back from getting a shoot.

Weight.

Yep, that’s right. And you know what? I totally fucking get it. I do. But I needed to practice what I preached, so I got my creative soul sister girl Danni from @daniknightandco to do a shoot for me (I did hers previously and we had a blast) and her lover Nikki to come shoot me and create some magic. IT WAS AMAZING. And yes it was also challenging. I am human after all, and healing is a constant evolving journey. So I saw all my lumps and bumps, the outfits that I thought was “me” then turned out wasn’t , and just saw me with a real sense of rawness. It really opened my eyes… in a good way. I loved it, as it stripped me down, it turned me inside out, and just made me more aware of all the spaces in my mind that I was holding onto negative energy. It was quite an invigoratingly awakening experience!

I am so much more open to understanding deeply all the beautiful men and women, who I create space for in my studio, I fully understand now what it is like to be on the other side (properly), and I am feeling like I have finally stepped into my full power as a woman, and have since then done a lovers shoot with my husbando with Dani and Nikki (will share in another post) with knowledge and acceptance of .. THIS IS ME. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE. and guess what lovers? I fucking love it.

You know what else I learned from this experience? I used the teachings of my little “negative” energies around my weight, lumps and bumps and used it to my full advantage. I have since joined the gym, finished an 8 week challenge, and fuelling my body with so much good food, good vibes and relaxation! All this came from a place of self love, not hatred, or punishment, but an understanding of my body, my soul, my very essence - to thrive I need to always being aligned with what keeps me happy and what keeps me nourished.

These images, are my godsend, I love them so much, and have given me so much more of a deep love and respect for myself, for my body. I know my other lovers feel this too, because they always tell me through teary eyes and with their tight hugs - I am just so in love with the power of art, and how beautiful, mystical, and life changing it can be.

So.. I leave you with this one thing… are you ready? To really let yourself open up, to get vulnerable, to really let yourself love deeply, that is your delicious, magnetic essence?